Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Shah Rukh Khan Rap

Shah Rukh Khan. He's everywhere!


Ever since I came to Mumbai to work on a number of projects involving his company, there's been no escape. Open the morning paper, and he's staring at you. Flip the TV on - you can't surf channels for more than five minutes without looking at his mug. Take a walk, and he's observing you from various billboards at every turn, almost as if to say "Taking a walk, eh? Just thought you'd goof off from working on my stuff for a bit, eh?", with his trademark wit and sarcasm.



And hence the following ode. You are welcome to set it to a rap tune. Or hard rock. Or villu-p- paatu if you prefer.


He stares at you from the TV screen

From every damn ad that you've ever seen

Selling you phones and cars and stuff

I'm sick of his face – enough's enough!


He's on all the billboards and posters and signs

Spouting those moronic, unfunny lines

How can I escape? Lock myself in the loo?

I won't be surprised to find him in there, too!


How do I escape from Shah Rukh Khan?

Any more of him and I can't go on.

I'll gladly suffer Jeetendra or Pran,

Just get me away from Shah Rukh Khan.


His hamming and preening just drive me insane

again and again and again and again.

The same old cliched, shoddy expressions,

Turning whole movies into torture sessions.


You'll see him on some TV channel quiz.

Flip through the channels and guess what ? Gee, Whiz!

He's singing and dancing and smiling at you

On every frickin channel up to 122.


How do I escape from Shah Rukh Khan?

Any more of him and I can't go on.

Give me anyone else – yes, even Salman!

But please do something about Shah Rukh Khan.


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Posting for the world to see that a loser you are I see! Homely men who can't succeed with women in their lives let out their frustrations by spewing venom at men who ARE successful and that women find very attractive. You are so transparent you clod!

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

anonymous.

Welcome. And the same to you, too! ;)

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Hey, I forgot! This isn't Son of Bosey. I can be rude here! In fact, I NEED to be!!

Anonymous - if you're such a humourless fucktard that you think this silly spoof song qualifies as 'venom', you must be sadder than Pandaribai in one of her gloomier moods! Lighten up, and stop getting your pants (or skirt) in a twist!

SRK is my client. And HE sees the humour in this.

koidy said...

I'm sorry, but anonymous' humour puts son of bosey to shame. this is the funniest shit on ANY of your blogs.

fell off my chair laughing at the comment and the replies.

Anonymous said...

He I am. Fired you are.

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Heh. I take it back. You aren't a humourless fucktard. You've got a sense of humour - so that leaves just fucktard!

R S Prasanna said...

Hey anand@ awesome work man. when the hell are ypu gonna start something like 'MAD' here in India? I shall buy the lifetime subscription in advance . you rockkkk.