Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Arsenal conveying teh_pwnage after defeat!

This has got to be one of the funniest crap-i-mations that I've ever seen. Brilliantly done. My favourite is Wenger, but the others aren't too bad, either.

I haven't the foggiest who created this, or from whence it sprung, but if anyone does, let me know and I'll link to the source. Bound to be some more such teh_br1ll14nc3 there.

Monday, April 14, 2008

It's somehow just not the same if he's V.Kennedy

P.James is actually V.Kennedy. Here's proof.

If I have to explain that to you, then you probably won't be interested in this post anyway.

But for the enlightened, how are we going to deal with this? Does 'V.Kennedy Magic Show' have the same ring? Didn't think so.

Some of us lucky ones have seen the actual P.James, who was an ancient human being even 20 years ago. Videep Vijay Kumar remembers having James perform absurdly impossible feats at his (Videep's, not James') second birthday party. Aditya Khanna has seen him live at Spencer Plaza, revelling in the magnificence of the venue in a manner that would have made Yanni proud.

To the rest of us, he's a mystery man who will always be associated with his iconic piece of graffiti that greets Chennaiites from Redhills to Injambakkam.

But he was always P.James.

And now, he's V.Kennedy. At least, his grandson is. And Kennedy continues to call himself P.James, at least when he's performing. Like Phantom, it passes on from generation to generation! What fun! The 'P.James Magic Show' graffiti is like the world famous 'Skull' mark of the Phantom. The Ghost who Walks! The Magician who Writes on Walls!

And before we end this delightful train of thought, let's take a moment to dwell upon the mysterious man who links the two P.Jameses, by virtue of having been born to one and fathered the other. By studying the naming patterns in the family, one can safely conclude that he must be called J.Vincent. Yes, that will do nicely.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Shah Rukh Khan Rap

Shah Rukh Khan. He's everywhere!

Ever since I came to Mumbai to work on a number of projects involving his company, there's been no escape. Open the morning paper, and he's staring at you. Flip the TV on - you can't surf channels for more than five minutes without looking at his mug. Take a walk, and he's observing you from various billboards at every turn, almost as if to say "Taking a walk, eh? Just thought you'd goof off from working on my stuff for a bit, eh?", with his trademark wit and sarcasm.

And hence the following ode. You are welcome to set it to a rap tune. Or hard rock. Or villu-p- paatu if you prefer.

He stares at you from the TV screen

From every damn ad that you've ever seen

Selling you phones and cars and stuff

I'm sick of his face – enough's enough!

He's on all the billboards and posters and signs

Spouting those moronic, unfunny lines

How can I escape? Lock myself in the loo?

I won't be surprised to find him in there, too!

How do I escape from Shah Rukh Khan?

Any more of him and I can't go on.

I'll gladly suffer Jeetendra or Pran,

Just get me away from Shah Rukh Khan.

His hamming and preening just drive me insane

again and again and again and again.

The same old cliched, shoddy expressions,

Turning whole movies into torture sessions.

You'll see him on some TV channel quiz.

Flip through the channels and guess what ? Gee, Whiz!

He's singing and dancing and smiling at you

On every frickin channel up to 122.

How do I escape from Shah Rukh Khan?

Any more of him and I can't go on.

Give me anyone else – yes, even Salman!

But please do something about Shah Rukh Khan.