Monday, April 19, 2010

Diary of an IPL Fan - Episode 1

Note : This is part of a series that I'm currently doing for . Republished here for those of you who missed it when it first appeared.

Day Zero
I am so excited that the IPL has begun. A true battle between some of our best and sexiest film stars! May the best person win - Shah Rukh, Preity, Shilpa, Katrina, all the best. Except to that boring Chennai team. K.Srikkanth it seems - who wants HIM as a brand ambassador? And that weirdo who drums on a river.


Day Four

Good that Shah Rukh has finally come to his senses and is accepting advice from those who truly understand and love his team - random people from all over India. Better than trusting Australians like Buchanan. In previous years also I had suggested many strategies by leaving over 200 comments on his team's web site, but I'm sure those idiots who maintained the web site never forwarded them to him. Morons - do they think he can personally visit the site and read all the comments? Lazy.

This time I have sent all my advice in a large book, couriered to his office. I'm sure that newspaper guy, that TV serial aunty and that chicken-catching dude must have done the same. If their advice can help KKR win their first two matches, surely mine will help them even more? Watch out - KKR will surely win this year.


Day Seven

Damn. My 'fake IPL player' blog is not taking off. What's the matter with people - what I write is so much funnier than that guy from last year. Maybe I shouldn't have pretended to be 'fake Anirudh Singh'. I've even copied some of the Fake IPL Player's original posts. Why can't people who watch the same movie multiple times enjoy reading the same blog post multiple times? Snobs. Losers.

Anyway, there's still hope. One gentleman has left a comment on the blog, promoting something called 'Male Organ Enhancement'. Why would he choose my blog to promote something, unless he knew lots of people are visiting it ?


Day Ten

I'm so happy that Preity's team finally won! Her smile is SO much nicer than N.Srinivasan's.


Day Twelve

Lalit Modi sir is a genius and a true visionary. He has managed to get two more teams into the IPL - from Pune and some place in Kerala. He will make everybody rich I think - except for those people who buy these teams for huge amounts of money, even more than English football teams. But this is not a problem for them - they are rich people anyway.

Lots of people are making jokes that Dubai is a part of Kerala, but these jokes are silly and repetitive, and they don't fool me. I know that it is a part of Arab. Kerala is a part of Sri Lanka.


Day Thirteen

Am so excited that I'm going to watch an IPL match next week. I haven't bought tickets, but I have entered many contests, and will surely win at least one free ticket. This is the law of averages. Even Kings XI Punjab managed to win a match, no? The law never fails.

See you guys in a little while.

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